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” Kenny cautions me that I should slow down and take it easy. “You have only known her for a few days slow down and enjoy the experience and just get to know her before you get all fucked up in the head over her.” Meanwhile, in the house Susan and Vanessa are talking. Susan starts the conversation by talking about my past. “Vanessa I think you should know something about him.” Vanessa says “He told me about Cassandra and how they broke up.” Susan then says “That is only part of the story. He suffered. It was like she died and he was left without her. His Grandfather had just died and he was trying to keep the farm. She wanted him to sell it and continue to play baseball. He is loyal and wanted to honor his grandfathers wishes. That loyalty to f****y is what she could not abide. She had to be first in all things. She felt slighted and just walked away from him.She broke his heart. She broke his soul in half and left him for dead. She was cold bl**ded, manipulative and did not care what. Inevitably then, through that intimate closeness, my pain gradually became replaced by something else. Something new. Something scary. I began to crave her touch, that sense of mothering closeness, that feeling of my skin on hers. I became a junkie for the perfumed aroma of her clothes, the soft texture of her nylon stockings against my leg, the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she held me close, her whispered words. I began to make excuses to visit her, prolonging the outward appearance of agony long after the memory of why I was hurting in the first place had faded. I offered to do yard work for her, to clean her house, to iron her clothes. Anything to be close to the older woman who beguiled me so. I never stopped to think how wrong it was, how inappropriate. I never stopped to think what my mom would say or the chuntering chorus of the town's moral choir. I just had to be there.And then, one day, everything changed.She was in her study. It was a gloriously brilliant August.
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